Guy friend: Hey Jasmine...Are you okay?
Me. No! I'm on my period.
Guy friend: Oh.....
Back to the story....
On this particular sunny day, I went to work at one of the elementary schools. Auntie Rose came a knockin' that morning, but no big deal. I was wrong. By the afternoon, I was almost bent over my desk in pain. The pain became so unbearable, I knew I couldn't make it till 4:30 and left two hours early. When I got home I slept for FOUR hours! When I finally awoke from my deep slumber, I told myself that it was probably a good idea to go to the store and buy some pain killers so I wouldn't be suffering the next day at work.
I slolwy get out of bed, gather my purse and keys and then drive to Daiei. I do a little food shopping and head off to the drug store counter. Now, I remembered at this point that ibuprofen is pronounced a lil differently in Japanese. Well, at least to my ear it sounds the same, but there's something in the word, for when I say it, Japanese people just blankly stare at me as this pharmacist did.
I go up to him.
"Sumimasen, (excuse me). I-bu-pro-fu-e-n....arimasu ka?" Do you have any ibuprofen?
"Hm.?"
He kinda jerks his head to the side, bringing his ear in my direction as if he can't hear me.
I repeat and he still doesn't understand me.
So, I start throwing words like "itai desu" It hurts.
Well obviously he now wants to know what hurts. I begin to motion towards my stomach, but I figured that would say I have indigestion. I'm unsure at this point if I should tell him I'm on my period because last time the topic of women things came up was during my contract reading. My supervisor was going over the terms and when it came to the part dealing with "women matters" he awkwardly looked at me for a bit and said that I was able to read it on my own.
So fast forward to this moment, I'm trying to make this the least awkward for him as possible. So I hold up my arm. It hurts, I say in Japanese, figuring that this might get me to the I-bu-pro-fen.
He nods and brings me to a shelf. Lo and behold, there's medicine for a hurtin' arm.
"Noooo," I say. "koko(here)" and I place my hands over where I think my uterus is located.
Now he thinks my stomach hurts and he's probably so confused becuase the pain went from arm to my stomach. I try to tell him that I'm on my period and I've got cramps. I try to find the Japanese for what I want to say and nothing comes to mind. One thing they never teach you in language classes, "my uterus hurts, get me the meds!"
However, I do know how to say it's a woman thing...or at least I thought I did until that backfired on me too.
"Onna no mono desu........."
He still doesn't understand. My hands are still resting and gesturing towards the location of my lovely and suffering uterus. I slowly indicate where my ovaries all the while saying "it hurts," hoping he'll get the message.
"Your stomach?"
I'm thinking, "Nah, dude, a bit south."
I start to overemphasize that I'm a woman, with woman pain.
"Watashi wa onna desu." I'm a woman.
"Koko, itai desu." It hurts here.
Onna no mono." It's woman thing.
I'm throwing all the Japanese I know into a gumbo pot and hoping for the best.
I think he's finally getting it because he takes me to another counter. Nevertheless, I start freaking out that he may be giving me the wrong medication, so I call Kat, my deus ex machina. She teaches me the pronunciation and then from there all is well. I buy the meds, apologize for my horrible Japanese skills and run off to my car.
Moral of the story, ladies... Come prepared with what you need so that you may avoid awkwardly gesturing towards your uterus and ovaries in the drug store.
Oh, and if you must say it's a women thing in any situation, according to Google Translate, its josei no koto.
Much love!
