Is this Happening?

Sitting at my desk during a free period, I got to thinking about my life just 6 months before Japan. A while back, during the summer vacation, I was still required to go to school for a half-day. I did a whole lot of nothing those first few weeks at school. Out of boredom, I decided to go back in my planner and remember all the major events of the past year and write them down. I dunno why I felt the need to do this. But a lot has happened. I look at certain dates and I can remember the exact emotions I felt and events that occurred.

Maybe it's the pure craziness of this year. Not just 2011, but 2010. Since the beginning of college, I have been going non-stop. That is until I came here to Iki. I have never had so much time to think and listen to my own thoughts. I write countless pages of random thoughts. I write them whenever and wherever. For if I don't, I'm pretty sure my brain would explode.

But it's crazy to think that just 4 months ago I was sitting with my friends dawning our Harry Potterish caps and gowns-some of us hungover and exhuasted from senior week festivities. Or two weeks before that grand day, I was having the most insane final exam week of my college career. And many months before that going into the self-buisness world so that I wouldn't have to ask my parents for money to live, trying to assert my independence and not be burden. Which,by the way, was complete disaster. Or just falling to the floor from the stress of senior year and being curled up on the common room floor cursing at myself to get it together before my roommates find me in such a state.

Or hanging in the pub for hours and hours and then cursing myself for not getting any work done, but at same time grateful for time spent with my friends. Going to moonies despite declarations that I would never go there again. And now I'm here. I have these moments when I freak out because here I am in Japan working and speaking or at least trying to speak Japanese on a daily basis.

What?

Is this really happening?

Am I really trying to teach these children?

Yes and yes!