Student sayings....Part 1

My students crack me up. And I say part 1 because this is only the beginning....
And all of this is in Japanese when it happens...well broken Japanese on my part.

One day at the kindergarten....

Student: Jasmine-sensei...your skin!
Jasmine: Huh?
Student: It's dark. We need to go wash your hands.
Jasmine: Ah, no, no. This is my skin color.

(He doesn't listen, grabs my arms and leads me to the sink. We proceed to wash my hands and when were finished I show him my hands again.)

Jasmine: See, this is my skin color.
Student: OOOH! Oh. Okay, let's play.

At an Elementary School:

Student (1st grader): Jasmine-sensei....are you black all over?
Jasmine: Yep!
Student: No way!
Jasmine: Yes, way!

Student(A 3rd grader): Jasmine-sensei, what juice do you like?
Jasmine: Well, I like orange juice and apple--
Student: I like apple, orange, banana, pineapple, grapefruit and grape, and, and and, and and.....
Jasmine: -____________-


At the Middle School

I approach two of my students during the lunch break to collect their activity books.

Jasmine: Did you finish the Spring break worksheet?
Students: Yeah!
(They go to their desks and bring their activity books to me.)
Jasmine: Thank you!
(As I'm walking back to the teacher's room, I glance at their worksheets. It's all in Japanese when clearly they were supposed to write in English. I walk back to them.)
Jasmine: This is all in Japanese.
Students: Huh?
Jasmine: You wrote it all in Japanese. It's an English activity, yah know.
Students: Oooooh, naruhodo(really).
My face:  -______-
Jasmine: You have until today. No. Tomorrow.
Students give me the "life sucks" face. 

During lunch one day....
Student: Jasmine-sensei, do you have kids?
Jasmine: No.
Student: Oh. ( And continues to eat his lunch in silence)

At a tug-o-war event. I was at a vending machine when a kid came up to me and started to mess with the buttons as I was trying to buy a drink.

Jasmine: Unnnh uhh! This is my drink!
Kid: No! It's mine! I want that tea.
Jasmine: I don't like that--stop messin' with the buttons!
Kid: Meeeeeh! Heeey, are you Japanese?
(I'm a bit taken back by his question. Usually it's "what country are you from?") 
Jasmine:. Yes. I'm Japanese.
Kid: No way! Cool! I've never met a Japanese that looked like you!! SUGOIII!
Jasmine: I'm joking. I'm not Japanese.
Kid: Oh. Chinese?
Jasmine: Guess again.
Kid: Korean?
(Is he pulling my long leg? Does he go to school? One of the ALT's must have taught him at some point!)
Jasmine: Noope.
Kid: NAN DE??!?!
Jasmine: I'm American.
Kid: WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEH! I've never seen an American before.
Jasmine: Yoroshiku Onegaishimasu (Nice to meet you.)
Kid: Yoroshiku Ongeaishimasu!

(And we bow.)

Random Questions

Student: Do you have a boyfriend?
Jasmine No.

Kid: Can you me buy some tea?
Jasmine: NO!

Student: HEY JASMINE! Give me money?
Jasmine: No.

Student: Are you married?
Jasmine: No.
Student: But whyyyy?

Jasmine: Are you ready to play a game?
Students look at me with "fml" written all over their faces.

Student: Do you like Japan?
Jasmine: Yes!