Forever in my Heart: Nick Swanson

It pains me to write this. Yet, I feel if I don't I'll keep thinking it's a dream. My best friend's brother died the other night. I grew up with them. Over the years, I've come to know them as my second family. I'm at a lost for words. Our relationship was rocky at times, but there were many, many good moments.

Nick, I'll always remember our childhood.

Summer days by the pool,

The first day of school.

Mario kart sessions and I was continuously beat by you and Corrin.

When you taught me the Pokemon game,

Always getting me in trouble with your mom,

I'd try to pout about it for the whole day, but then you'd do something or say something funny and I just had to laugh.

Trick or treating in our elementary school days,

That one Halloween when you dressed as a woman and you bravely walked on to the playground. Epicness.

Your vivid imagination,

Chilling in the barn,

Walking through the wash,

Teaching me how to make Wolverine claws with the bamboo leaves.

Telling me that my voice sounded like Alicia Keys.

All of this and so many I'll remember. I am praying for you and your family. Rest in peace, my friend.

To My Uncle...

I found out my Uncle died. Now, I didn't know the man very well. Strange, I could hardly remember his face. But I do remember his booming voice that came through the phone whenever he called and it was often, for he and my father were close.

I don't like that I can't be there in person for my family during this difficult time. But, I dedicate this post to my Uncle Rushnel. May your soul rest in peace, dear Uncle. Although we didn't see much of each other in person, I will always remember your voice and the joy I felt when I heard you say hello or when you inquired about my life at school and growing up.

<3

Family is everything. I am because of them.

Cornrows? Nan de?

I'm getting bored with my hair. All I really know how to do is a twist-out or a braid-out. So, today I decided I ought to learn some new tricks...that I probably should have learned a long time ago, but whatever!

And I am also the only black person on this island and I doubt I'll find a Japanese person on Iki who knows black hair. I may be wrong, but I have yet to meet this person. I kinda hope they're out somewhere....

And! I'm not spending oodles of money to go to big cities like Osaka or Tokyo just to get braids which also cost an insane amount of yen!

No! My friends, I must learn to do things myself! *Sorry, that was a lil dramatic.*

Here's my first attempt at cornrows that turned into a weird mix between twists and cornrows. Meh.

Uhhhhh, cornrows?

Epic fail, but I'm still cute about it. =)

Can I Get an Otsu kama sama please?!

*Culture and Langauge note: Otsu kama sama deshita. This translates to "thank you for your heard work" roughly. It's said all the time. Usually said when you leave work or after a practise of some sort.

Today, I taught five classes all of which we're about Halloween. Halloween is one of my favorite holidays, but by the last class of the day I was really trying to keep up my enthusiam for candy and costumes.

On Wednesday, I had to teach one of my 3rd year classes...by MYSELF! When my JTE told me, I swear I almost cried. The third years? On my own? The first few classes with them hadn't been very smooth. Probably noticing the instant change of expression on my face from very genki(enthusiastic) to super kanashii(sad), she assured me that I wouldn't be totally alone and that one of the assistant teachers would be in the classroom.

"Oh that's great," I thought. "If she can come out with some brilliant English in the next day to help explain Halloween to the students, then yes, I'd be okay."

Of course, no such thing happened. Nihongo Ganbare!

I prepared Halloween games for the class the week before, but Monday and Tuesday I was a silent wreck.

The day before, my friends who much more skilled in Japanese, despite what they say, helped me write the directions in Japanese to explain the game.

Then comes the day. A Wednesday. A particular sunny, yet cold day. I dawned my green dress and witches hat and prepared myself for what I thought would be the worse class ever.

Class begins. The students stroll into the classroom. Thank goodness for the announcement the JTE made about me teaching on my lonesome.

But, have ye a lil faith, sensei!

IT WAS AMAZING! Honestly, I don't give my students enough credit. I was having some trouble connecting with the third years before, but I think this class was just what was needed to break whatever layer of ice that remained. Before, they simple nodded at me with a quiet "konnichiwa" when I walked past them, now they won't leave me alone.

I shared my Halloween memories and traditions with them, showed a bit of the Nightmare Before Christmas, and gave out lots of candy. And Nightmare Before Christmas is a totally legitimate Halloween movie!

And with that...can I get an Ostsu kama same desu?!

Just Shut Up and Listen

It's easy to fall into this position as a teacher thinking that you and only you are the sensei.

I think it's especially easy when we're young and we've just cut the ribbon into the "real world." We're motivated and our friends are telling us that world isn't ready for us. There's so much motivation and that's good. We need that drive. At the same time, whatever position you may be in, it is important to keep in mind that teaching and learning is a two way streak.

Yes, I'm teaching, but I often fail to realize that these students are going to teach and broaden my horizons. As I teach, I'll learn and vice versa.

While JET has us here for internalization, it is important to keep in mind what Japanese culture can teach us and what we can learn from each other as we will be interacting with people from all over the world.

Sometimes we need to stop talking and just listen. Which is something I'm really learning now.

Just shut up for a minute or two and hear what people gotta say.

Katsumoto Festival

Not much to report about this particular event. I went to a festival this weekend in Katsumoto, which is the Northern part of the island. A good 30 minute drive from house. Some elementary schools, the Junior high school and other groups of the Katsumoto community danced in a parade and several, I'm guessing, the Iki fathers, in drag. All in all, it was another wonderful weekend followed by an "wild and extreme" Iki party.

Osaka! O,Osaka!

Last week, I went up to Osaka for a JETS of African Descent trip. Lemme tell yah! It was so wonderful to see all the different shades of brown and the different hairstyles and just be with people that looked like and understood where I was coming from. I could bring up race and it wasn't awkward! Yay!! Oh, I was a happy duck. I say it loud, I'm Black and I'm proud!

I took the Shinkansen for the first time and it does sort of feel like you're floating...very quickly. The ride was smooth and the days were chill. I made friends with a native Osakan who gave me and a friend free cookies that his wife baked, had AUH-MAZING Mexican food and as always partook in the Osaka nightlife.

I feel another trip to Osaka needs to be in the works...

Is this Happening?

Sitting at my desk during a free period, I got to thinking about my life just 6 months before Japan. A while back, during the summer vacation, I was still required to go to school for a half-day. I did a whole lot of nothing those first few weeks at school. Out of boredom, I decided to go back in my planner and remember all the major events of the past year and write them down. I dunno why I felt the need to do this. But a lot has happened. I look at certain dates and I can remember the exact emotions I felt and events that occurred.

Maybe it's the pure craziness of this year. Not just 2011, but 2010. Since the beginning of college, I have been going non-stop. That is until I came here to Iki. I have never had so much time to think and listen to my own thoughts. I write countless pages of random thoughts. I write them whenever and wherever. For if I don't, I'm pretty sure my brain would explode.

But it's crazy to think that just 4 months ago I was sitting with my friends dawning our Harry Potterish caps and gowns-some of us hungover and exhuasted from senior week festivities. Or two weeks before that grand day, I was having the most insane final exam week of my college career. And many months before that going into the self-buisness world so that I wouldn't have to ask my parents for money to live, trying to assert my independence and not be burden. Which,by the way, was complete disaster. Or just falling to the floor from the stress of senior year and being curled up on the common room floor cursing at myself to get it together before my roommates find me in such a state.

Or hanging in the pub for hours and hours and then cursing myself for not getting any work done, but at same time grateful for time spent with my friends. Going to moonies despite declarations that I would never go there again. And now I'm here. I have these moments when I freak out because here I am in Japan working and speaking or at least trying to speak Japanese on a daily basis.

What?

Is this really happening?

Am I really trying to teach these children?

Yes and yes!

Japan Cribz...

I haven't properly updated you all on my living situation. You know...pictures of my car and apartment.

Hai! Dozo! Here yah go!

Say hello to Hilda! My most awesome car!

This is an extra room that I really don't need, but I hang my laundry here.

My bathroom/laundry room
My kitchen
Kitchen continued...
My bedroom.
My living room! I usually lay out the futons here since this is the only room with an aircon/heater.

Fukuoka: All You Can Drink

The only way to really capture the events of Fukuoka is just to list the events. No poetic descriptions of sunsets or vivid descriptions of actions taken place on the dance floor. To be quite honest, I'm still recovering from the weekend. I cannot promise that it'll be in any particular order because nomihodais (all you can drink) and pina coladas two nights in a row will certainly distort your memory.

And here we go....

The little Ikians leave for the big city of Hakata.

Arrival in Hakata. We our complelty surprised that restaurants are still opened at 10 pm. People are coming and going as if it's the morning.

Dinner at the Mexican restaurant. Awesome staff and great food. The pina colada was delicious and I felt compelled to splurge and buy two. And with some liquid courage, I then felt it necessary to flirt with the cute waiter.

Fubar with some awesome JETs. We meet a bartender from the UK who used to be a JET and he gave us free shots.

The Brazllian guy says I remind him of Brazil. Another guy, says I have "sista spirit." The Japanese guy thinks I'm kawaii(cute).

Fukuoka is just inflating my ego.

Stumble into the hostel around 4 am.

Sight seeing in Fukuoka.

Saw a bit of Noh theatre.

Rowing a boat. Zoe, Becky and I struggle to shore.

Went to the art museum. A women approached us and asked if one of the student artist could draw me and Zoe. The artist thought I was pretty.

Again...this place is just infalting the ego.

Shopping. Who spends 100,000 ($100) yen on books? This chick.

The club known as Happy Cock. All you can drink till 3:50 am. We got there around 11:30. Need I say more?

Come back around 6am.

Check out of the hotel at 11am. Ugh rough.

Walk around Hakata. GOT AN EPIC MASSAGE!!!

Watch a movie (20 bucks a person. smh!)

For some reason, I was very emotional for my second viewing of Harry Potter Part 2.

Leave for Iki on the ferry. Sit next to my some Iki neighbors, their kids, and some of my students and I'm still hungover.

And that was what I remember of Fukuoka.

The High and the Low

I miss early morning chats with my Dad.

I miss bothering my parents while they're trying to sleep.

I miss Barnes and Nobles runs with my brother.

I miss intense conversations ranging from race to feminism and everything in between.

I miss people who know the works of Audre Lourde and Maya Angelou.

I miss calling my friends Kasama or Comrade.

I miss the pub sessions.

I miss salsa and bachatta.

I miss talking about the most random shit that you can only talk about with your friends.

I miss Haitian food.

I just miss Haitians, in general.

While I'm at it...I miss people of color.

I miss my baby goat and my dogs.

I miss...that guy.

I miss Mexican food.

I miss Caribbean accents.

I miss Fun Table and Biddies.

I miss Open Mic nights, plays and everything artistic....

As of now...the list can go and on. Trust me, I'm so happy to be here. I love my schools, the teachers I work with and the students. I love my community, but I'd be lying if I said everything is happy-go-lucky. I'm just a little homesick at the moment. With every high, there comes a low.

Such is life...yeah?

And So It Begins...

The First Two Days:

The first day of teaching actually didn't entail teaching at all. I just helped with the oral portion of the tests. The second day, I taught at the elementary school. Remember when I said that self-intros were very important in Japan? Well, I had to make another speech in Japanese in front of the school and then go into more detail about my likes and dislikes in smaller classes. After that though, it was all fun and games! All educational, of course. I looked towards the teachers a lot because sometimes I had NO idea what I was doing. Sometimes I just pulled the "smile and look pretty."

The First Week

My first full of week of teaching near about killed me! It was lovely though. Monday, I was at what I call my Forest school because I literally have to drive through some of the woods to get there. Even Iki people have a hard time finding this school. But, I think Forest school is my favorite and I'm thrilled that I get to see them twice a month. It's a small school with about 40 students from grades 1 thru 6. I showed up a half-hour early because I was so nervous about my first full day of teaching, but the princaipla gave a hearty "ganbare(do your best!)" and with that I prepared for my first class.

I don't know why I was freaking out; the students were just lovely! They loved my self-introduction and asked questions about my life and were SUPER GENKI! Before I knew it, lunch was served and then recess! I'm trying to make an exercise plan, but at this rate playing with the kids might just do the trick for maintaining my weight. These kids are cray cray! I chilled in the teacher's room for a little bit and joked with the other teachers and the principal. The principal insisted I call him Uncle and that the assistant was my sister. So now I've got my Japanese family. However, I still call him kocho-sensei(principal). Gotta keep it professional. The assistant Yu-chan and I instantly became friends and we've agreed to help each other with our language study. At the end of day, I didn't want to leave even though I was exhausted. Ah, my little forest school!

The next three days were at the junior high school which is my base school. On Monday, we had the first enkai(work party)-a welcome party for me(seperate from lessons, of course). So what happens at the enkai stays at the enkai. Nothing scandalous happened, but I do want to maintain the privacy of my fellow collegues. However, the greatest part of the party is when the science teacher told me that for the past month all the teachers wanted to talk to me, but they were too nervous about communicating because of the language barrier and he expressed that everyone liked me very much. I almost cried!!

The classes went well. My first time teaching the third years (8th grade) was a little rough. Going from elementary students to teenage students can a bit shocking. I forgot about the ANGST! Sometimes I just got blank stares.

The other classes went well. Some classes talked more than others, but I can understand why their shy. Hopefully, they'll warm up to me. I guessing that they like me, because they always wave at me outside of school. In class it's a different situation, I suppose. Apart from self-introductions I helped with dialogue and comprehension and going over tests. I think the most fun I had during a class was with the first years(7th grade). Their tests had kanji on it, but I couldn't read it. So, for every kanji, a student would raise their hand and say the Japanese and the English. I had to remember both and later write the English on the board. I absolutly love that I did this becuase it showed my students that I'm in the same boat as them with learning a langauge.

And then....Friday. The Kindergardten. These kids have no limits. But they're so freakin cute, so of course I forgave them when they sumo wrestled me to the ground. But Saturday and Sunday, I was in zombie mode.

I NEED GENKI JUICE!!!

Iki Island Lover!

Another reggae concert on Iki. I believe the last one of the summer.This time this show included artists from all over Kyushu. After some researching, I found out that the concert was part of a fundraiser to raise money for people affected by the volcanoe eruption in Miyazaki. Good food, music and dancing! RESPECT!

Weekend Disaster: Nagasaki Orientation

Nagasaki Orientation....a weekend in which I was supposed to have a relaxing couple of days off of Iki and it turned out to be a disaster. Okay...I exaggerate, but the trip could have gone a whole smoother if a couple things didn't happen. Such as...

1. Flying the day of orientation. I don't know why the Iki crew wasn't flown in the night before. After arriving, we had to take a bus to the orientation area, but we missed the bus stop because hmm, well I can't read Kanji. At the bus station we were told we had to take the tram about two stops to the conference center. On the tram and on our way, I realized that my Iki Island discount card along with my plane ticket had fallen out of the protective sleeve. smh! We go back towards the bus station and then I realize I left my backpack on the bus. DISASTER! This resulted with me breaking down in front of the attendant at the bus station because I couldn't remember the Japanese for "I forgot." Everything sorted itself out though. I got my backpack within twenty minutes(yay Japan!) and two people from the orientation picked us up from the station. Sorted!

2. Drinking way too much at the JET party.

-_____- I lied to myself when I woke up the morning after and said I was fine. By about 10 a.m. the night of debauchery hit me and I was a zombie for the rest of day. So much for sightseeing. I stayed in the mall the whole day with some other JETS. My friend assured me that I did not look hungover. Ah, but my body was saying different. I felt like I'd been hit in the head with a baseball bat, runover by a bus, and trampled by thousands of people. Oy vaaay.

3. Allergic reaction on my eyelids. On Saturday night, I was with some of my JET peeps when I felt my eyelids getting puffy. I don't know what the hell was going on with my eyes, but my bottom eyelids swelled up. I bought some allergy medication, but took too many and as a result felt like throwing up and then falling asleep right where I stood. Rough.

3. Being overwhelmed by the city. Trams? Buses? Trains? TRAFFIC?! I guess being on Iki for a month now has gotten to me because Nagasaki City was stressing me out with all that city...ness. A bunch us huddled together on an overcrowded train...ugh! Take me back to the inaka (country) please!

4. The orientation. How many times do I need to hear this information?! BAH!

However, I must say the weekend was not all that bad. I met so many awesome JETS in Nagasaki and made lots of new friends. D'aww! I met up with my friends from Tokyo Orientation( shout-out to Stephanie and Melissa!) Then there was that party. Hot damn and that's all I'm gonna say. o__O Yeah, the next day I was hungover, but who doesn't love a good party? My dear loves, rum and whiskey, we need a break.

By Saturday night, I was ready to go back to what I now call home, my dear Iki.

Obon!

(Note* O-kun and B-Chan are code names for the other ALT's. I didn't ask them if it was alright to use their names in the blog.)

Obon was about two weeks ago now. Obon is a three day Buddhist event in which the spirits of the ancestors come back to visit their relatives. Families clean the graves of their relatives and provide food offerings at grave sites and temples. How people celebrate differs from region to region. This also time when people all over Japan visit their hometowns. So it's a big family event! This will probably be the only time when Iki is crazy with the traffic.

Oh..and my massive error. We (we being O-kun, B-chan) left the festival in Ishida early. On the drive home from Gonura, after taking B-chan home, we could see the fireworks light up the sky in the distance. When we got to Ishida, I thought we could catch the last bit of the fireworks. Well, when I pulled into the parking lot, the fireworks finished and we got caught in traffic. It took us almost 30 minutes to get home when usually it's a 2 minute car ride.

As the Conductor says..."massive error."

Kids playing tug-o-war

Some Lanterns at a stand
A woman doing the Bon Dance

Impulse

Saturday evening I did something totally unexpected of me. Usually, I stress myself out between trying to be my own person and conforming with what is appropriate. On this particular evening, a bunch of went to the beach. It was a cloudy day and the sky looked as if it would unleash a flood at any moment, but we still ventured to the coastline.

And then it started to rain.

And not just a little light rain, but a torrential downpour! One of the guys that joined us ran out into the sea and started swimming. I looked at him as if he was craziest person alive. How could he do that? We all just stood under the porch of the beach bar and watched him swim. As the rain began to pour down harder, I was struck with the thought that I might have left my car window down. A friend of mine, offered to go check for me, but I ran out into the rain anyway. The good news, I didn't leave my windows down. -_____-

I ran back into the bar completely soaked. I looked at the guy having a good time in the water and I wondered why I was so afraid of the rain. I'm always running away from it, but I've never stood between sea and land and just let it rain on me. A friend of a friend was visiting. I told him that I feel like swimming in the rain and he expressed that he wanted to do the same. He changed into his swim wear and we ran into the ocean as a storm raged on (wasn't that bad of a storm, don't go cray cray on me). When the rain had settled, more friends joined in and we just chilled in the sea with the jellyfish. Some of us drank beer. And thus it was a good night.

And there is only one picture from this event and it wasn't taken by me, so when he uploads it, I'll post it here!

Nihongo speech...onegaishimasu.

So, I just have to write about this now! I'll write about other events later!

Today I did my jiko shokai (self-introduction) for the Junior High school today. I had to say a short speech in English and....dun, dun, dun, dun, Japanese. I was so freaking nervous. Today wasn't even a hot day, but the butterflies in my stomach were setting my body temperature at an all time high and I was sweating so much it looked like I just ran a 5K. The ceremony was only about 10 minutes. It was very Japanese with all the bowing and the students in these rigid straight lines. The Kocho-sensei(Principal) introduced me and before that we had to walk onto the stage at the same time. So I did my speech and the whole time I kept telling myself, "slow down, woman!" But it went well. By the time I said the Japanese version, I was bit calmer. Hopefully, I was loud enough. Thank God for the microphone.

After I said my speech, one of the students representing the school greeted me in English. I like to think of this as a bonding moment for us because I was nervous to speak Japanese and she was nervous to speak English. Afterwards, I ran into her in the hallway and gave her a thumbs up for a job well done.

One of the teachers led me back to the teacher's room so she could give me the pictures she took. And she told that I'm good at speaking Japanese to which I replied, "thank you, but I'm certainly not peda, peda(fluent)." I'm so grateful for this experience though because I really feel that it broke down a barrier between me and the students and the teachers. On the way home I went to Shun-chan's pharmacy to tell him about the speech. He made me recite it again and only then did I discover the grammatical errors. I said it many times for the Japanese teachers and they kept "ii desu," it's good. The errors weren't anything major. It was like if one forget to put the "is" or a "the." No biggie.

With all of the introductions out of the way, I start teaching in two weeks. And I'm so ready! YOSH!

I didn't realize till I stepped off the stage that the students had made signs for me and actually drew me! Love it!